Thank you. The awareness and conversations you promote through your article and your involvement means so much to so many. Keep up the good work. My son, a BU student, suffers from depression and admits to having thoughts of suicide. Unfortunately, he finds it impossible to reach out to professionals for help. I feel so incredibly helpless and frightened when he calls me for help miles away. Thank you for highlighting possible resources available on campus. Now, to get him to take that step ….
As a fellow student at BU, my heart goes out to your son. There are students like me who are working hard to make these resources more accessible and open up the conversation on depression, mental illness and suicide. Dear BU mom, you may want to contact Student Health , Res Life or Dean of Students to share your concern about your son. At least he is reaching out to you, so the number one thing I learned when watching a loved one suffer is to make sure I was taking care of myself first, very hard to do but critical.
There is hope. Anne, Congratulations to you for a finely written, highly informative article but especially for all the work you are doing to raise awareness on this issue, one that has touched many of us including me. Thx to my friends, family, coworkers and BU community for responding to my article. Over 60 people came…The event was amazing especially due to: survivors who came, Rev. Special thanks to the many people and organizations who helped get the word out!
Your email address will not be published. Boston University More Publications. The Brink. November 21, Anne Dinoto. Jody: I knew about Him.
I had a lot of head knowledge, but no personal relationship at that time. Dennis: So take us to the room or was it the kitchen? Where did he confess this to you? Jody: Oh, well, I'm trying to remember. It was so many years ago, but now I think we were in the living room when it kind of all came out because I was looking at his computer, I was working something on his computer and kind of uncovered a lot of things, and then just sort of brought it up to him and said, "Hey, what's going on?
And it was so relieving to him — very burdensome to me, but very relieving to him. You could see the weight just come off. It was amazing. Dennis: You know, you used two words that I don't want our listeners to miss here because it will help men understand what they are feeling right now but also potentially what their wives will feel — relieving to Mike but burdensome to you. Dennis: Yeah, I mean, of the worst kind. So did you think about leaving him at that point?
Jody: I did not. You know, oddly enough, pornography was not something that I ever viewed as a child, but I knew it was out there. My cousins and uncles and things like that, and I had seen it around their houses and stuff, so I knew it was out there, and I really just thought it was a man problem.
And I was, like, there's got to be a solution for this. So I probably wasn't — my response probably wasn't as shocking as maybe someone who lived a more sheltered life. But it was distressing. Bob: And you were aware that night that it wasn't just viewing pornography but there had been other women? Jody: Yes, in fact, I actually spoke with one because of some odd phone calls, and I was, like, "Who are these people?
Bringing Mental Health Out of the Dark: Part 1
And that sort of made it real to me. Bob: For a wife to hear that her husband has been looking at pornography on the Internet, that's devastating …. Bob: But when it moves beyond that to involve adultery, that's even more crushing, isn't it? Jody: It is, definitely. Because now you are dealing with an actual, physical, and the Scriptures deal with it in a different way as well. Mike: Yes, it was. She had discovered "The Excellent Wife" book and had read through that, and she contacted Martha Peace, the author, and Martha and, I believe, her husband, Sanford, wrote back to us and suggested that we go to a National Association Nouthetic counselor, and so we had never heard of them, didn't know if there would be any, but there was one right in Medina, Ohio, where we lived.
And I was ready at that point, I truly was ready. I was all done with my life of deception, and I saw — especially, I think, looking at Jody and the pain — it wasn't so much anger with her, as she described, it was more hurt. Her heart was torn up and, I tell you, that tore me up because I saw the pain that my life had brought to this lady that I truly loved, and at that point it was, "Yes, let's go, let's get help.
And so we began at that point, went in to see the counselor, and this was different than any other type of help I'd ever tried to get. This was, "Let's open our Bible and pray," and I thought, "Well, that's religion, you know, what do we need with that? I need help with my problem. And the counselor brought forward the Gospel. He brought me to the cross of Jesus Christ, and as I began to see that cross and the blood that was shed for me and the death that Christ died on my behalf, it became very real, it became like I was viewing the death of the Son of God for my sin, and I remember kneeling at the foot of that cross and just having wave after wave of forgiveness wash over me and cleansing come over me, and it was like I stood up a new person.
Like, all that had been washed away, like, I had become new, and my slate was clean, and my guilt was gone.
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And so that was the experience that happened. I didn't know it at the time, but the Bible describes that as being born again. And so the old is gone, and the new has come. Bob: Okay, and so you'd been unpacking stuff, and the counselor goes to himself or herself, "I don't think this guy gets it," and shared the Gospel with you?
Mike: He was sharing the Gospel all the way through because he realized my condition, and far more than I did, and so he was. But he also began to apply the Scriptures practically to me, and that's where I began to discover the how-to as far as getting free from all the impurity. Bob: I wanted to ask you about that because it wasn't just a situation where he shared the Gospel, you were born again, and now you had no struggle anymore with any kind of sexual impurity.
The struggle was still there, right? Mike: I had the habit of turning to pornography and various other things, and that habit was not broken like that. But what happened is, if you read the rest of Psalm , it says, "Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains.
What happened is the counselor began to share with me the how-tos of actually getting free from this stuff, and it didn't have anything to do with a rubber band or any drugs or anything like that. It was the actual biblical principles of radical amputation where Jesus said, "If you're lusting after a woman, pluck out your eye," or "cut of your hand. He's talking about make it impossible to view that anymore.